Don’t be a dimwit. Ask why

Ugandans. We are largely friendly, happy go lucky, always ready to ‘parte’ yet savagely passive aggressive because we cannot or will not say certain things aloud. There is a growing narrative - Ugandans are too angry, too quick to insult these days, especially the youthful Ugandans. “Emitima gyakaluba”, the youthful ones shoot back. From Prime Minister Nabbanja’s leaked video that cast her as inept to MP Francis Zaake blasting the deputy speaker with some choice words, we have been quite entertained. While we were still catching our breath, firebrand lawyer and activist, Isaac Ssemakadde strolled onto an NTV political talkshow and pulverized MP Muhammad Nsereko. The camouflage jacket Ssemakadde wore in contrast to the clean-cut suit of Nsereko told of the brimstone that was to come. As dimwits, quislings, bunkums and curmudgeons gathered in a corner to recover, opposition stalwart and Democratic Party president, usually cool and calm Norbert Mao, thundered on Twitter about people urinating in rice saucepans, shredding the remains of our mangled opposition. As Daily Monitor columnist Daniel Kalinaki once asked, “Tulikuki?” Shortly after the 2021 elections, police arrested a man for flogging an effigy of President Museveni to demonstrate his angst over the conduct of the elections. Imagine the epic disaster that would have unfolded if an irate man stormed State House, grabbed the president by his billowy shirts and proceeded to flog the actual fountain of honour! The last time a stone hit the president’s motorcade, bullets penetrated some bodies, leaving them very dead. Thus, the police should have thanked the man for coming up with an alternative conflict resolution model that kept our president, the man and all of us out of harm’s way. Instead, the regime continues steadily and progressively down that slippery slope by criminalizing dissent. Yet people need an avenue to vent. When children cry or throw tantrums, it is much easier to demand they toe the line and stop the racket immediately. But when you stop and ask why, you learn tantrums are a form of communication. If you listen patiently enough; no, the tantrums will not melt away- but you will be better prepared for them. Apparently, when a child throws a tantrum, the responsible adult is expected to continue being the adult in the room. This wisdom is not easily implemented, though. Despite my several years of experience, I have a stellar record in failing to manage a child’s tantrums. For children will be children. Thus, my spectacular and consistent failure to peacefully navigate a tantrum, says something uncomfortable about me. Parenting experts demonstrate parenting is about parenting yourself, managing your emotions that you are better equipped to teach children to manage their emotions. Therefore, one way to manage tantrums - accept that a tantrum is communication, a weird annoying mode but still communication. When we ask ‘why’, we invite understanding of the other. Unfortunately, by the time you hit adulthood, society largely frowns upon adult tantrums for society trusts that you are rational, civilized, equipped with ‘agreeable’ ways to vent your frustration. Are we really an angry abusive lot that only a law can manage our emotions? Have we fallen from our perch as Africa’s friendliest ones? I highly doubt. Our president led the charge of abuse decades ago, referring to previous leaders as swines. In 2015, Museveni remarked that he could not leave office with emishega (wolves) roaming around; waiting to fight over what he has built. Now it is the bazzukulu’s turn to insult. Social media is a gift that keeps on giving; giving access to millions who did not have the privilege of being heard. It allows the governed to get up in the faces of their deified supreme leaders and release a noisy fart. In our traditional culture of politeness, respect for authority and elders, this is abominable. Now, our leaders perched high up in the ‘above’ hear from us in ways their delicate gargantuan egos are not used to. This offends them terribly. Why? An October 2021 Psychology Today online article, suggests- “Most of us, despite how much we may see ourselves as having evolved over time, still possess an ego more fragile than we typically realize.” If the bazzukulu whom you immunized and UPE educated now jump onto your dinner table and shake their thong-clad posteriors in your face, put away the pliers designed for plucking out flesh; instead ask, “Why?” As a French expression goes, “To understand all is to forgive all”. smugmoutain@gmail.com The author is a tired muzzukulu. Article link: https://observer.ug/viewpoint/72910-don-t-be-a-dimwit-ask-why